Friday, 17 July 2009

Not Listening to Fear

I've reached that stage in a big project where you've been planning for months and months and suddenly the deadline, which seemed like a mirage on the horizon that you'd never get to, is within walking distance.

Well, it's just over 3 weeks away, but it's coming. Suddenly there are ten times more jobs to do in that short space of time than you thought there would be. All these little things that pop up and say 'Oh, sorry, did I not say I would be waiting for you at the end?'

It's all do-able, but in between the various other distractions of work, brain matters and preparing to move house, the next few weeks have piled up with jobs that, to say the least, have made me feel stressed and anxious and DAMN EXCITED! This is good, it just means it's one of my life's big (self-imposed) challenges that I now have to face up to. And I have admittedly woken up on some days and not wanted to get out of bed, but I know what that is, just fear trying to get in, and you have to brush it aside and get on with your day. Every day.

Those are the bad days, anyway. And I don't have that many of those. The good days, where I feel like a filmmaker and that all this is worthwhile, are magic. I get little glimpses of the rewards of following your dreams, in amongst the fear that I'm just a silly dreamer with someone else's camcorder. Although, I have my own now ;-)

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