There are two things I'm amazed by while making this film, in relation to the script I wrote.
One is that the world really is half full of people who are willing to team together to achieve something special, and have a grand sense of community and a belief in working together.
The other is that the world is also half full of people whose sole ambition in life is to get drunk as skunks and stir up shit for poor film crews trying to shoot on a Saturday night.
Last night we gathered by City Screen to get various scenes... here are the cast and crew getting ready to shoot:
...and got some hilarious vox pops on the street as passers-by commented on how the CrimeFighters were cleaning up their town, or not. Then we got some amazingly arty shots of our heroes surveying the town from a rooftop...
Wait til you see the actual shot, this snap doesn't even begin to do it justice.
We then went on to a mugging scene in the courtyard behind the cinema, and during the shoot, the following incidents occurred:
- Two hen parties wanting to be in the film and screeching 'You can't stop us'. And then getting bored and leaving at the tops of their voices.
- Two idiots pretending to crash into the light stands.
- Four men pissing in the alley we were using as a location and saying 'We can piss where we want, you're not exactly the next Tarantino". (Why is everyone obsessed with anyone being 'the next Tarantino' or indeed the next anybody?)
- Various drunken rednecks trying to get in the film or chat up/creep out the ladies on the crew.
- A team of very thick-necked, violent-eyed men dressed as lifeguards strutting around the set for about three minutes before they got bored when everyone stopped answering their questions.
- One guy walking past, clocking what we were doing, and shaking his head as he went to Orgasmic. I wonder what was going through his head; 'Look at these losers, wasting their life'. He was wearing a t-shirt that said 'Irony'. Possibly.
There were other little joys but I think I'd better forget about them because the cast and crew were wonderful and so was Helen who brought biscuits at just the right moment. Again.
There was a common thread though, that all our antagonists seemed to be obsessed with how famous this film was going to be and whether we were 'from the telly', or what the film was about. Answers the crew and I came up with varied from 'Superheroes' to 'a documentary about sailors' to 'a student film', but Dan's method was the most ingenious: when faced with a drunken retard asking you pointless questions, just text. Or pretend to. People get bored after about 20 seconds and leave. Try it.
I know the world doesn't stop and hold its breath while filmmakers make their films, I have learned that full well, and I know that we have been lucky with help, weather and a lot of other things on this shoot, but I seriously have a problem understanding this element of society, and I guess that's why I wrote the film. People who have no interest in artistic endeavours and would rather get as drunk as possible and spout off boring, conveyer-belt crap like the walking cliches they are. It has been pointed out to me that hey, I should ignore them, chill out, realise that there are just lots of different kinds of people in this world, etc... but I wonder if I'll ever understand. They are the thing that piss me off and push my button more than anything else. My Room 101 candidates.
Anyway, enough of that bitching, for the next two nights we're filming indoors again, and I can't wait. And you can quote me on this; I'm never filming in a town centre on a weekend night ever again. Unless we have a good security squad. Can someone build me the whole of York as a set please?